Why You Feel Out of Control… (And What’s Really Pulling You)

The Four Currents Running Through Your Life

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re living life on autopilot, collapsing on the couch, procrastinating, and promising tomorrow will be different. How about repeatedly setting goals to be more productive? Have you sworn to keep in touch with the friend you ran into after six months of no contact? Maybe you’re daydreaming of a version of yourself who finally starts that new hobby.

Many women feel overwhelmed, stressed, or out of control in their daily lives.  These feelings and behaviors are relatable because all women have the same driving forces within them. Comfort, Order, Freedom, and Connection are the Four Core Currents shaping all of this and more.

What Each Current Is Telling You

Feeling anxious or overwhelmed? The Comfort Current is pulling you toward rest, soothing, and familiarity.

Feeling bored or restless? The Order Current is pulling you toward structure, routine, purpose, and progress.

Feeling trapped, stuck, or stressed out? The Freedom Current is pulling you toward solitude, independence, choice, and adventure.

Feeling lonely, disconnected, or numb? The Connection Current is pulling you toward love, belonging, sensuality, and spirituality.

You’re not lazy… you’re not behind… you’re not stuck… and you are DEFINITELY not alone. You are out of balance and living in the gap between what your instincts know and what society demands.

When Order Takes Over

Unfortunately, women live in a world that celebrates hyper-productivity, over-working, extreme discipline, and self-sacrifice. All of this falls under the Order Current, but it’s not sustainable without balance among the others.

A chronic imbalance toward the Order Current increases the risk of burnout, addiction, and health issues. Over time, a woman begins to feel drained, disconnected, and unsure why life keeps feeling heavier. She can feel unappreciated, unseen, or like she’s carrying life alone.

Because society celebrates these behaviors, it can be even harder for a woman to listen when comfort, freedom, or connection are calling out to her.

When Comfort Takes Over

When everything you want, like food, entertainment, distraction, or reassurance, is available in seconds, the Comfort Current becomes incredibly hard to resist. It isn’t praised like the Order Current, but it shows up everywhere: convenience, scrolling, snacking, soothing, avoiding.

A chronic imbalance in this current can turn into exhaustion, physical issues, depression, and even addiction. A woman can start feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or unable to get traction, even when she desperately wants change.

Because our culture glorifies discipline, productivity, and self-sacrifice, women who lean toward comfort often feel embarrassed or ashamed of their needs. They internalize the belief that something is wrong with them, that they’re weak, or not trying hard enough. And when they attempt to add structure or discipline, the shame, exhaustion, and reliance on quick dopamine make it nearly impossible to follow through.

When Freedom Takes Over

When the Freedom Current dominates, commitment feels suffocating and expectations feel like traps. Some women withdraw, isolate, or avoid responsibility because they’re overwhelmed by pressure, especially pressure to follow rules, timelines, or systems that don’t work for them. Others detach simply because they have so many passions and identities inside of them that choosing one path feels impossible.

A chronic imbalance here leads to unstable routines, difficulty building healthy relationships, and a tendency to quit before real progress is made. These women are often misunderstood and labeled impulsive, inconsistent, or unreliable. What’s really happening is that they don’t know how to hold onto freedom and stability at the same time, and any hint of pressure sends them running.

When Connection Takes Over

When the Connection Current dominates, a woman starts living for the warmth of others instead of the fire within herself. She becomes agreeable, accommodating, and careful not to disturb the fragile closeness she depends on. This can look like people-pleasing, shape-shifting, or avoiding her own needs so she won’t risk rejection.

Sometimes it comes from trauma or anxious thoughts that make being alone feel unbearable. Other times it’s rooted in a lifetime of conditioning that taught her she is valuable only when she is needed, chosen, or easy to love.

A chronic imbalance in this current leads to codependency, self-doubt, and a slow erosion of identity. A woman may lose her sense of what she wants, rely on reassurance to make decisions, or feel disconnected from herself even while staying busy with others. And because relationships built on self-abandonment rarely offer true safety, she often ends up feeling lonely even when she is not alone.

Beneath it all is the quiet ache of a woman who has never been fully met, because she has never been allowed to fully exist.

Learning to Work With Your Currents

I encourage you to start observing the internal pulls you feel throughout the day: the urge to shut down, the urge to take control, the urge to escape, or the urge to connect. These are your Four Core Currents in motion.

Most women move in and out of imbalance in each current at different times in their lives. The tension you feel is not a personal failure; it is what happens when you have spent years being told to ignore your own instincts.

You do not need more discipline, more willpower, or another rigid plan. You need a clearer understanding of how you operate internally. These currents are already influencing your choices, your energy, your relationships, and your patterns, whether you are aware of them or not.

Learning to recognize them is the beginning.
Learning to work with them is what creates real change.

This is where archetypal integration comes in.
This is the foundation of The Isanthra Method.

It teaches women how to understand their internal patterns, meet the archetypes behind each current, and finally build a life that feels aligned with who they actually are, not who they were told to be.

You are not meant to be controlled.

You are meant to be in command.

If you are ready to understand your internal world and start working with your archetypes, not against them, you can learn more about The Isanthra Method and what working together looks like.